Thursday, March 27, 2014

The Roller-Coaster

The last 48 hours have been a roller-coaster.

I thought I was going to Liberia on Tuesday, but instead, I took an overnight trip to New York.

I was mentally and emotionally prepared--my life here was in shutdown mode, and my life in Liberia was booting up. I was ready, excited and was filled with peace.

After a late night and early morning, I returned back to Atlanta on Wednesday morning. I was reunited with family and friends. I got pizza for lunch--something that I had wanted to eat before I left, but didn't. I spent the afternoon with my sister and mom, helping my sister get her nursery ready. I slept in my own bed last night, with a ceiling fan and fluffy warm covers. I was happy to have an extra day at home.

Last night, I prayed that when I checked the flights this morning, that it would be very clear whether or not I should try again today or wait until next week. I wanted big, obvious results...which didn't happen. Right now, the computer says I should make it to New York, and then to Accra and Monrovia. The problem is that things can easily and quickly change, and there's no way to know.

My sister called me, and she pretty much kicked my butt. It wasn't fun. It was emotional. I told her I needed to finish reading my Bible and praying and then I'd make a decision. I read 2 Thessalonians today.

"But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one...And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good...Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way."
2 Thessalonians 3: 3, 13, 16

[well, first excuse to my sister this morning was that i was exhausted, and the thought of traveling for two days just makes me even more tired.]

And, let's be honest: I really wanted to be in Liberia for Small Ashley's birthday (which is today). I had promised Momo that I would be there for her birthday. And that's clearly not possible. So then I started thinking that since it's so close to a few things happening here, that I was bummed about missing out on, that it's ok to stick around here until next week. 

I think some of the emotions came from realizing that, before it felt like either/or...and today I have realized that it's a neither.

So, I'm leaving for Liberia today. I don't know what will happen in New York, but I know that I can't not try. If the numbers were obvious, and trying was foolish, of course I wouldn't do it. But right now, I should make it on all flights. I wish I just knew the outcome, and knew I'd for sure be on my way to Liberia tonight. But the reality is, I don't know what's going to happen. I do know, that I'm going to put one foot in front of the other, and go to the airport at 3:30 for a repeat performance. 

I would appreciate your prayers! I'm praying that God wouldn't even let me leave Atlanta if Liberia isn't a possibility today. I'm praying for a seat out of JFK, so that I will wake up in Africa tomorrow. I am continuing to trust in God's good plans and perfect timing. 

I will already have a friend waiting for me at the gate in New York...a Liberian who didn't make it on Tuesday either. So, at least if I don't make it, I won't be stuck alone. I will keep you all updated on where today takes me. Love you all!

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