Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Just So You Know...

...I am human.

Some of you probably think that I love everything about Liberia, that everything is hunky-dorey, that the good outweighs the bad, and that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

I just want to let you all know that none of those statements hold true. Yes, there are things about Liberia that I love. Sometimes things are hunky-dorey. I see time and time again that the good can outweigh the bad. And, most days I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

And then, there are times like tonight. When I walk in the door, flop down in a chair and tell my teammates, "I didn't sign up for this!" There are other times when I think, "what in the heck is going on? why is this world so messed up? how can life be this unfair? how in the world did I end up here?" Last week, a 10 year old orphan girl with AIDS and without the will to live died. [That's so unfair] Tonight, I went to take a walk to the beach after dinner. I needed to unwind and to stretch my legs after driving all day. I ended up having to pull a very drunk man, who was trying to kill himself, out of the ocean while a group of Liberians stood around and laughed and took pictures on their cell phones. [This place and these people are messed up]

And I wonder why God gave me this verse twice this morning....

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope." Romans 15:13


I think I might be bubbling over with hope real soon!

2 comments:

Sonya Knight said...

Ashley, thanks for being so open in your posts. I think we all have those moments whether we admit to it or not. I love that God already knows, and we don't have to pretend with Him. His grace is sufficient and when we're weak, His strength prevails. I continue to be inspired by you, and I just love how God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things! Know that you are being lifted up in prayer. I am committing myself to praying for you daily.

ladybugblue said...

Ashley - thank you for being there, for being faithful, for loving the beautiful bits and for NOT loving the ugly bits. Blessings and peace and joy to you from a sister in Wisconsin...