Thursday, December 15, 2011

Day 10--The Puzzle

I'm just going to say it. There's alot going on inside my heart and head. There has been alot going on over the past few months, in case you haven't noticed. I am constantly thinking about things, brainstorming, and trying to plan for the future. Some days, it consumes my mind. Life has been plain weird the last few months. And I'll just go ahead and say it--it's not easy to process. It's also not the easiest thing to talk about with others. I think through conversations, or how to answer certain questions. Sometimes, it's almost like a game.

The best way to describe my life right now is like this:

Yeah, remember those stupid sliding puzzles?! 
Those things still frustrate me sometimes!

I feel like over the past five years, God has been placing different pieces into my puzzle. I feel like over the past 6 months or so, alot of pieces have been quickly placed into my puzzle. But, the pieces are scrambled. It's like I know I'm supposed to create a beautiful picture with all of these pieces, but the problem is that I don't know what the final picture looks like. The past few months have been part of the process--which is sometimes slow, painful, uncomfortable or confusing--of sliding those pieces around. I'll admit, I'm starting to get impatient about finishing the puzzle, but I'm really looking forward to the moment of placing that final piece into it's place and taking a step back to look at the masterpiece.

Maybe I'm just speaking in metaphors, and I'm not making much sense. That's ok. Most of it doesn't make much sense to me either. That's why I'm sharing this with you...I need your help. I'm asking that you join me in prayer. Pray for wisdom, discernment and clarity. Pray that the clutter and distractions will go away. Pray for His perfect peace. Pray that I will not grow weary during this 'sliding around' time. 

I'm also asking that you come along side me during this journey. I need prayer warriors, cheerleaders, people to give of their time or money (more on that later!), people to just sit and listen to me, people to dream big with, encouragers, people to bring me back down to Earth...I need you all! But most importantly, I need to hear clearly from God. I long to hear His voice; which I'm finally starting to hear again. I need a renewed vision and passion. I just need more of Jesus.

Thank you all so much for being my soundboard, my support and my cheerleaders. The longer I do this, the more I realize how people like you are vital. At the same time, the longer I do this, the more I realize that there aren't many people who are in this with me for the long haul. Again, it's all a part of that puzzle. I know God is continuing to place the pieces (sometimes gently, and sometimes not so gently), and right now, I'm just trying to trust in Him for a glimpse at that final masterpiece. 

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