Saturday, December 24, 2011

Day 2--From My Heart & My Head

Just something that keeps coming up, so I’m just going to go for it...
If you’re ever around me, you probably know that I talk about Liberia. Alot. Sometimes I play alittle game with myself--to see how long I can go in a conversation without talking about Liberia. I especially try to play this game when meeting new people. There’s only been one time where I’ve won the game! I sat next to someone on an hour flight and managed to talk the entire time without mentioning in Liberia. I was so proud of myself! 
Here’s the deal. I talk about it so much because it consumes me. It invades my mind, it’s stolen my heart, it is my life. In a sense, I feel like I have sacrificed a ‘normal’ life, and instead have chosen an unusual life. Really, God has chosen this path for me, and I  just keep trying to listen to His voice. I mess things up, I am selfish, I am lazy, and some days I just don’t even want to get out of bed and face the world. I guess my point is that I’m not perfect, I’m not extra special and five or so years ago nothing like this was even on my radar.
Having said all of that, the reason why Liberia spews from my mouth is because I have fallen in love with a country and with the people. All I can say it that this immense love is God-given. But the other day, I think I came to another conclusion. The reason why I share stories so often is because I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good (Ps. 34:8), and I want other people to taste and see too! I want other people to realize that God can use them, right where they are. I want people to understand that God is real and alive and moving and working. He still performs miracles, answers prayers, and speaks. He is always good and always faithful. His love never ends. 
God doesn’t call everybody to Africa. I’m the lucky one; or at least that’s what I’m saying today (ha!). But God calls all of us somewhere--whether it’s to your family, a neighbor, your coworker, a classmate or a total stranger. Our command is to go when we are called. When you think you can’t do it or that you’re not equipped, think again! (I am in no way equipped to do what I do...and there are plenty of days when I know I can’t do it!) When God asks us to do something, He equips us and supplies our every need.
I know what you’re thinking-- ”well that’s easy for you to say.”  I hear you, I do. But that’s the thing. I know and I believe and I want others to know and believe. It takes so much to get up out of the boat and take that first step out on the water! It’s scary and uncomfortable. But I promise you, after you take that first step, and as long as your keep your eyes on Him, you can do it! But I feel obligated to also warn you--once you say yes the first time, that’s not the end of saying’s really just the beginning! It becomes a life of continual yeses. It gets easier, but sometimes it can still be scary or uncomfortable. That’s when I have to look back and keep reminding myself that God has brought me through everything, and that He has always been faithful. He has me, and you, in the palm of His hand! That’s so crazy to think about!
I think I might be prepared to preach a sermon now, and I feel like I could keep going, but I just wanted to share with you alittle bit that’s been on my heart lately. There’s actually been ALOT on my heart and mind, and maybe this post is more for my own self. At the end of the day, it’s not about me at’s about Him. And time and time again, He has my best in mind, and my job is to fully trust. My other job is to keep listening to His gentle whispers and to keep saying yes.
God, help me to hear your voice. Help me to trust you with everything that I am, and with all that I have. Help me to let go and to give up control. Give me the strength and courage to keep saying yes. Give me patience. Jesus, give me clarity and discernment. Enable me to be Your hands and feet to the world around me. Father, I want your best. Take my dreams and desires and make them Yours. Jesus, I need you. Thank you for your grace and mercy. You are so good. Thank you for your continued faithfulness. Father, help me to do everything for Your glory! Amen.

My heart will sing no other name. Jesus, Jesus.

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