It Could Have Been Me [Or You]

Exactly four years ago today, I was running around like a crazy woman and staying up until 3am packing for an adventure of a lifetime. You see, on February 15, 2007, I boarded a plane for Monrovia, Liberia for the first time. February 14, 2007 is a milestone date for me. It was the last day of my so-called "normal life". This is what I wrote in my journal on that night four years ago:

I'm seriously going to just spew out love for 34 days straight. Everything is pretty overwhelming! Hopefully I will get some good sleep tonight; ready and refreshed for the longest, craziest day of my life. My life will never be the same again! That is what is exciting...and scary!"

I thought spewing out love for 34 days was difficult...but [mostly] spewing out love for 4 years is another story! I would have never guessed that four years later, I would still be in Liberia, and it would be called home. I know so much more about the country and culture; and I deeply love the people--especially the children that have so greatly impacted my own life. My life has not been the same since that February 14th four years ago.

Sometimes people ask me questions like, "when did you know that Liberia was your calling?" or "when did it click?". The single experience that made Liberia real and that made this all click happened just 5 days after I arrived in Liberia, and it has to do with a girl named Rosie.

[Rosie greeting me on my last morning in Liberia in 2007]

I remember Rosie so well. Cautious, skeptical, stern looks, the type to just sit back and observe. Rosie hardly said a word. One afternoon, we were sitting inside a thatched wall school, reading books and letting the kids play with my camera. I hadn't figured out how to have conversations with the children in the orphanage about their past. But for some reason, I started asking Rosie about her family, and her life at the orphanage. And for some strange reason, she began to open up and tell me her story.

Rosie had been at the orphanage for four years. She came from far away--"on the other side of the river"--but I didn't know enough about Liberia to know what she meant. She had two older siblings and two younger siblings; she's a middle child, just like me. She likes gospel music and she loves to sing. Both of Rosie's parents died during Liberia's civil war. Two of her siblings went to live with her aunt and the other two went to live with her grandmother. I asked if she got to visit her siblings and she put her head down and was holding back tears. The only thing I could say was, "you don't get to visit often enough, right?" She still kept her head down, without saying anything. Rosie has finally started to open up to me, even asking me about my family, but now she was completely silent. I sat back in my chair and my eyes welled with tears. I tried to watch the other kids playing through my tears, but then I just lost it. I put my hands over my face so the kids wouldn't see my crying and tried to compose myself. That didn't work and I just needed to get out of that room. All of the children became concerned, so I told them I was just going to go outside for a minute. I walked down the back steps and headed towards the lagoon to take a breather.

I wasn't crying because Rosie has lost her parents. Or because she seemed so sad. I was crying because I couldn't imagine her pain. Her siblings were at home and together, and she is the one who got let go of. If I were her, I'd be angry and asking God "why me?!" It was in that moment that I understood her silence. As I walked to the lagoon and back, I wrestled with God and asked why her?!

When I came through the line of coconut trees, all of the children who I had left inside were waiting for me. They all ran up and hugged me and grabbed my hands. I noticed that Rosie wasn't with everyone else. She came walking through the crowd and when she reached me I explained that it wasn't her fault and that she hadn't done anything wrong. I went on to explain that I was sad because she was sad. But that we shouldn't be sad because God gives us hope. The kids smiled and nodded and then we headed back inside to read more books.

That moment with Rosie forever changed my life. Hearing her pain broke my heart, but made me want to love her even more. In that moment, I realized that it could have been me. I could have been that middle child that nobody wanted. I could have been the one shipped off to the orphanage. It could have been me, but thank God that it wasn't. I also realized that I didn't have anything adequate enough to give these kids, but that I could be Jesus' hands and feet.

For the rest of my trip, every morning Rosie would be waiting for me in the driveway of the orphanage. As soon as I jumped out of the van, she was there with a smile on her face and would grab my hand. We would spend hours together under the plum trees, talking and laughing, and she would patiently teach me to crochet. To this day, whenever I show up at her orphanage, the children alert Rosie that I'm there, and she comes out with a smile and grabs my hand. Today, Rosie is a beautiful young woman.

It could have been me. Or it could have been you. But thank God that it wasn't. Thank God for Rosie--that her past and her pain were used to change my life. And that her story can be used to change all of our lives. Because of Rosie, four years later, I am still in Liberia being Jesus' hands and feet to those who need to feel His love the most.

My Return to Liberia

It is incredibly hard to believe that I have been away from Liberia for 7 months! This is the longest period of time that I have been home since this whole Liberia journey started four years ago. It's been quite the roller-coaster ride, but I managed to finally find a good, comfortable place at home. That's the problem. I feel like whenever I get too comfortable, that means it's time to go back. As we say in Liberia, 'I can't lie'...it's going to be hard, but mostly bittersweet. My last night in Liberia was spent doing this:

Soaking up the fresh and salty ocean breeze, the sound of the waves, the sight of the horizon and the beautiful Liberian sunset. And, feeling like crap. I'd been in bed for four days with malaria and a broken foot. I hadn't eaten anything besides some bread with butter. I was pretty puny.

Home couldn't have come sooner. Home was rough, very rough, for the first two months. Last night I was thinking back to those first eight weeks that I was mostly stuck on the couch watching pointless TV. Having to sit on my butt and pull myself up the stairs with my arms every night to go back to bed. Those moments when I was in tears, just "wanting to be normal."

And then there's the past few weeks. Good weeks. Weeks that have brought growth, new friends, true community, and passionate prayer and praise. Times that I feel alive and better than ever. This is so good but I am already mentally trying to prepare myself to leave all of those things behind. Again, "I can't lie"...there's butterflies, anxiousness, stress and sometimes there's bargaining.

This is when I have to think about what's really important. Who, and what, really matters. For such a time is this. The call, the obedience, the reward. Last night, I poured my heart out in my journal about all of my fears, hesitations, and just feelings of not wanting to leave, and then feeling guilty for feeling that way. And that's when God said, "It's ok to feel this way. I am right here and with you every step of the way. I am going before you and will be behind you. My angels will be all around you. You can do this!"

And then I look at this:

And I think to myself, "Yes, I can do this. It's moments like this that make it all worth it. God, I trust you. Lead me. My heart is expectant, my eyes are open. Give me strength. Fill me with your love and your joy. Help me to show your love and joy to others. Give me peace. Peace that passes all understanding. I seek after you, and when I seek, I will find you. Jesus, be the center."

I'm leaving for Liberia on February 19th....that's 16 days, people!? Please pray for me as I prepare to leave. This Sunday will be my last Sunday at New Hope, so if I don't get to hug your neck....just know that I appreciate and love you all! And, I'm flying standby on the new Atlanta to Monrovia flight, so be praying for open seats! Thank you all for your continued prayers and support and for making it so gosh-darn hard to leave home to go to my second home!

Collard Greens Recipe

You all have been asking for years for this, and I'm finally going to deliver!

Ma Mary's Americanized Collard Greens

Ingredients:

1 bunch of collard greens

1 1/2 large yellow onions

6-10 cloves of garlic, pressed

3/4-1 cup vegetable oil

1 tsp. Italian Seasoning

1/2 tsp. black pepper

1 large chicken bouillon cube (prefer Maggi)

2-3 Habanero peppers

Serve on a 'Liberian mound' of rice!

Optional: Meat is optional. I usually use about 1 pound of beef stew meat, but you can add chicken or fish as well. I use kitchen scissors and cut the stew meat into small pieces. Toss in a bowl with italian seasoning and black pepper. Drizzle olive oil in a non-stick skillet and over medium heat, cook the meat until it’s almost done. You can add onion and garlic too. (If you want a very spicy dish, cut the top off of a Habanero pepper and add it to the oil first. Let it infuse the oil for a few minutes before adding the meat.)

Preparing the collard greens is the most time-consuming part of the process. Start by cutting off the stem ends. I cut off up to where the base of the leaf starts. The easiest way to clean the greens is to clean your sink, fill it up with the leaves and water and start rinsing. It takes some ‘swishing’ to knock the grit out of the leaf veins. After the leaves are washed, you are going to chiffonade them. Stack the leaves on top of each other (10 leaves or so) and starting on one side, roll the leaves tightly (like a cigar), and then cut across the leaves to make fine ribbons. Liberians cut the leaves as thin as possible, plus they will cook quicker. Keep stacking, rolling and cutting until all of the leaves are all prepared.

Take your onions and cut in half. Then you will thinly slice the onion halves--think shoestring onions. Using a garlic press, press 6-8 garlic cloves. To prepare your peppers, cut off the top and take out the seeds. Quarter the pepper and set aside.

I use an 8-quart, non-stick, stock pot every time I cook my collard greens. Just make sure you have a good sized, non-stick ‘soup pot’ and you will be fine.

Over medium heat, put enough vegetable oil in your pot to cover the bottom on the pot and give alittle depth (3/4 to 1 cup). Heat the oil until it’s warm, about 5 minutes. Add the onion and garlic and saute until tender. Add 1 tsp. Italian seasoning and 1/2 tsp. black pepper. Mix together and cook a few more minutes. Add the greens in batches, and toss so they get covered in the oil. You might have to add some greens and let them wilt down before adding more. After all greens are added, let them cook for about 5 minutes. I prefer to use a good pair of tongs to keep tossing the greens. As the greens start to wilt down you will start adding water, 1 cup at a time. Add 1 cup of water and continue cooking, tossing every 10-15 minutes. After the greens are all wilted, reduce the heat to low and simmer. Crush one large, or two small, chicken bullion cubes and incorporate it, along with your Habanero peppers when you start to simmer the greens.

Keep an eye on the oil/water level--you don’t want it to go dry or the greens will burn. You can add another cup or two of water during the cooking time, which will steam the greens, and then you can toss less often. I prefer my greens to not be crunchy, so I usually cook them for at least an hour (most times closer to 2 hours). During this time I do a few taste tests and add more onion, garlic or spices to taste. Serve in a big bowl, over rice, and eat like a Liberian with a big spoon. You can also serve with fried chicken, pineapple or plantain/banana/root chips.

Helpful Habanero Hints:

This is your chance to control the heat. You can always add more spice, but you can’t take it away. Habaneros pack a punch...especially if you’re not acclimated to spicy food. The more seeds that you leave in the pepper, the spicier it will be. If you only prefer alittle spice, take out all of the seeds; the skin alone will spice the greens. I am very sensitive to hot peppers, so I always handle the peppers with a latex glove. Also, with collard greens, I use red and yellow peppers, so my family and friends can easily remove the peppers (totally not Liberian) if they can’t handle the spice. If you really want it spicy, you can add the pepper in the very beginning when you saute the onion and garlic.

Now you can enjoy a taste of Liberia in your own home!

P.S. I documented my cooking experience because I wanted to be one of those awesome food blogs for a day. But I've decided this post is too long for more photos...so maybe another time.

Happy 2011! [Year in Review]

2010

It’s been a pretty incredible year.

There have been highs.

And there have been lows.

It’s pretty crazy to think about where this past year has taken me.

The places I’ve been.

The people I’ve met.

The children who continue to change my life.

The ways I’ve seen God move.

It’s been unreal.

A Year in Review Through Blog Entries

In January, you all collected 854 pairs of undies from the Undies4Liberia pledge, and I returned to Liberia.

In February, there was alot of joy and I celebrated my 3 year anniversary of being in Liberia.

March was the beginning of the struggles: struggling to help people and struggling to find hope.

In April, my moment with Yamah made me realize why I’m in Liberia in the first place.

May had celebration, declaration and grief.

June gave more reason to celebrate, and an unexpected twist.

In July, we celebrated a new home, while I adjusted to America and settled into a two-month stint on my couch with a broken foot.

By August, I was sick and tired of being homebound, but just HAD to get to the ocean. The week at the beach freed me from my crutches, and gave me alittle sanity.

September was busy with the ORR staff retreat in Seattle and the missions conference ay my home church.

I spent half of October in Seattle experiencing the life of an ORR home office employee.

November landed me in Virginia for a week of fundraising and reconnecting with God. And, the Blankets4Liberia pledge began.

This December, I have enjoyed the holidays with my family and so many children experienced true joy this Christmas in Liberia!

It has been an unbelievable year! Just in making this post, I've noticed that the year began and ended with YOU! Your love, prayers, encouragement, support and your willingness to get involved in all of these silly pledges--you're the best! I can't thank you enough for all of it! I also noticed that, although this year was my most difficult in Liberia yet(deaths of 2 children, my 'month of darkness'--as I call it, malaria, a broken foot, coming home unexpectedly), there was also alot of JOY!

I wish you a very happy new year! I pray blessings on you this year. I hope that 2011 bring you unending love, a deeper understanding, an abundance of blessings and great, deep joy! I am looking forward to this year with great anticipation because things just keep getting better! I can't wait to share this next year, and this next chapter of my journey, with you!

“Weeping my last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”

Psalm 30:5

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to wish all of my Love in Liberia friends a very Merry Christmas! I hope that you spent your day with loved ones, and that you were able to pause for a minute to reflect on Christ's birth. I spent my day with my family. Our traditional Christmas morning casserole for breakfast, my sister playing 'gift fairy' as we opened our gifts, a big Christmas lunch, lounging around, game playing, driving around to look at Christmas lights, and it's midnight and I'm still in my pjs! I savor the time where all of my family is together--it doesn't happen often enough. Time spent together, with no agenda or plans and there's no place to be...it's wonderful!

Anyway, blessings to you and your family! I love you all and I am so grateful for each of you--for your prayers, love, support, and just for reading my random thoughts and following me on this journey.

This photos just made my Christmas! It's a picture of Koiboi ("my son") receiving his Christmas gift in Liberia yesterday. I was immediately excited to see how great he looks...and then my heart hurt--I wanted to scoop him up and give him hugs and kisses! And, then I couldn't stop thinking, "look how big and good he looks!" So, from Liberia to Atlanta to you, Merry Christmas!

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas from Liberia!

Christmas in Liberia 2010 from Orphan Relief and Rescue on Vimeo.

Thank you to everyone who donated gift bundles this year! But, it's not too late to donate bundles...we will deliver after Christmas too! For just $25, you can fill a child's Christmas with joy and laughter--kids who otherwise wouldn't have a Christmas. Visit the website to donate bundles, and don't forget to write a personal message to go with your bundles! This is what Christmas is all about!

Give Warmth. Give Blankets.

Even though the pledge is successful in the eyes of Pledgebank, I am still looking for people to donate blankets! My bedroom has blankets everywhere...but there's room for more! An easy way to purchase blankets is with a few clicks, and you can send them right to my door.

Walgreens has fleece throw blankets on sale for $1.99. A friend donated $40 and I ordered 20 blankets! And, if you spend $25 or more, then you get free shipping!

If you'd rather go shopping, RiteAid has fleece throws for $1.77 (offer ends 12/25).

Also, I know that plenty of stores have fleece throws for Christmas, so be watching the clearance racks for good deals on blankets after Christmas...and even better deals on into January. I need all blankets by January 15th. Click the Pledgebank box at the top to sign the pledge and get all of the details! Help keep children warm this rainy season!

Thank you to everyone who has donated blankets so far!